The Heart Brings You Back
by Jesshayes
Summary: Lucas is left in darkness when Peyton dies whilst giving birth to Sawyer. Will he find the strength to make it through or will he sink further into the shadows? Lucas centric.


**This is a story about Lucas and Sawyer and what would of happened if Peyton had died in the season finale. I hope you like it.**

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**"George Eliot once wrote: 'There is no despair so absolute as that which comes with the first moments of our first great sorrow, when we have not yet known what it is to have suffered and healed, to have despaired and have recovered hope."**

Lucas stared in to the bottom of his empty glass waiting for the familiar numbness to come over him but it didn't. The heart retching pain was still there. Looking up slightly, he signaled for the bartender to pour him another. He drank quickly and as the alcohol shot through his body he once again felt nothing.

As Lucas slowly woke up the next morning he turned over to wrap his arm around the beautiful blond laying next to him. His hand landed on the empty bed and with that, realization quickly hit him. She was gone and she was never coming back.

----------_One Week Ago_------------

_Lucas carried an unconscious Peyton into the hospital scared for her life. As he passed her to a doctor he gently kissed her neck before she was torn away from him. He went to wash his bloody hands, gently removing his wedding band and prayed that her and the baby would be alright. _

_He entered the viewing area and stood in the exact same place he had five years ago when Lily was born. He looked down at Peyton just as they were sedating her and begged her to be OK. Soon after cries filled the air as his darling little girl was born, he laughed in relief and watched her being taken away to be cleaned up._

_With a smile on his face he turned to Peyton. The doctors seemed much more frantic than they had just seconds ago and his smile faded. In that moment he realized how much they both needed her , he squeezed his eyes shut, once again praying for a miracle. He silently mouthed 'I love you' and a single tear escaped his eyes._

_Suddenly all he could hear was the sound of the monitor flat lining._

_'PEYTON!' _

_Hearing his shouts everyone came in the room. Nathan and Haley were the first to see the doctors trying to resuscitate her._

_'Oh God no.' Nathan uttered in barely a whisper._

_Brooke saw just as they called her time of death and fell to the floor sobbing uncontrollably. Lucas rested his head against the glass as the most heartbreaking pain he had ever felt flooded through his body. A nurse entered the room and everyone except Lucas turned to look at her, tears pouring down their face._

_'Would you like to say goodbye?'_

_They all nodded and made their way out of the room. The nurse stayed behind and looked inquisitively at Lucas._

_'Mr Scott . . .'_

_'I . . . I want to see my daughter.' _

_The nurse lead him to the nursery and left him with his baby whilst she took everyone else to say goodbye to Peyton. Lucas looked at this beautiful girl and she started to cry. Gently he walked over and picked her up._

_'Hey pretty girl. It's OK, Daddy's here . . . Daddy's here.'_

_He stood with her for what felt like hours staring in to her perfect little eyes, tears rolling down his face._

_'I'm sorry baby girl but we have to go say bye to your Mommy now. God I wish we didn't but we do.'_

_He found the room Peyton was in, the baby still in his arms. He noticed how peaceful she looked and he was glad, she'd felt so much pain in her short life but now she would never have to feel pain again. He walked over to the bed and placed his daughter down next to her. He kissed Peyton on the forehead and took her hand in his._

_'Hey baby, this is our beautiful daughter, I wish you could see her she's amazing Peyton . . . You know I'm in a little over my head here, I can't do this without you but now you're . . . you're gone and it's just the two of us and I have to. We need you to be here, you promised, Peyton, you promised. Baby, I really can't do this . . . she doesn't even have a name. We were meant to do that together Peyton. I'm so scared, I'm scared for me and I'm scared for our baby. I'm scared that we won't make it through this, me and her.'_

_Lucas sighed and picked up his daughter, he bent over and kissed Peyton again. Resting his forehead against hers he spoke softly._

_'I will always love you Peyton Sawyer!'_

_Lucas looked down at his daughter and smiled briefly._

_'Sawyer? Hey pretty girl I think we just found you a name.' _

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He closed his eyes trying to block out the emotions that crashed over him just as they did every other morning. Out of everything else he felt the guilt was unbearable. He needed to be strong for his little girl. He needed to get them through this. She was all he had left yet he couldn't do it. He sighed and sitting up he took in his surroundings. His room was a mess, empty bottles covered every surface and his clothes were left discarded on the floor. As he surveyed the room he saw something that made his heartbreak even more. Half hidden underneath his bedside table lay a forgotten rose petal from their wedding night. He picked it up and held it to his heart. He cried in bitter disbelief that it had only been a week since that night.

Once his tears had finally dried he stood up and placed the petal in the box along with everything else. It was the box that Peyton had made for Sawyer _just in case. _He remembered how angry he was at her when he found it, how angry he was at her for making that tape for Sawyer and how angry he was at her for wanting to get married right away. Looking back he felt ashamed of himself for feeling that way because if he was honest he was grateful for it. He was so glad he married her and he was so glad that Sawyer would be able to remember her amazing mother.

He went into the bathroom and as he took a shower for the first time in a week he felt like today might actually be OK. Once he was ready he made his way to the kitchen but as he passed Sawyers room he noticed the door was ajar. He felt sick, he always kept her door closed preferring not to look inside as all it did was remind him how he was failing her. He reached for the handle meaning to close it but instead he opened it further. As he looked around he noticed a half empty bottle of vodka. Foggy memories washed over him and he remembered coming in here when he got back from whatever bar he had chosen last night. He sank on to the floor, his back against the wall. His gorgeous daughter was nearly a week old yet he'd barely seen her. Upon realizing this he reached for the bottle and downed it quickly once again trying to numb his pain.

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Nathan knocked on the door praying he'd get a response. When he didn't he looked at Haley who had a sleeping Sawyer in her arms. She sighed and kissed the little girls forehead. She silently passed her to Nathan and dug around in her bag for the key, she hated just walking in on him but they had no other choice. As she opened the door she called out for him but once again they didn't receive a reply. Nathan passed Sawyer to Haley who had tears now forming in her eyes and started to search the house. Eventually he found Lucas sitting on the floor of Sawyers room, nursing a bottle of vodka. Frowning Nathan bent down beside him and eased the bottle out of his hands.

'Lucas, please don't do this again. Sawyer needs you. She's already lost her mom don't make her lose her daddy too.'

At this Lucas looked up into Nathans eyes and the pain that Nathan saw rocked him to the core. After a while Lucas turned away and snatched his drink back.

'Lucas . . .'

'Leave me alone'

Nathan sighed and made his way to the door.

'I get that you need time Luke, I really do but one day your gonna come out of this and realize that you missed out on the most precious time of your daughters life.'

Nathan turned and walked out into the living room. Haley was sat on the sofa gently rocking Sawyer, as Nathan came in she stood up filled with hope that today might be the day. He walked over to were she stood and pulled her towards him. They stood there for a while not wanting to give up again but knowing there was nothing they could do. Finally Nathan pulled away.

'Lets go, he can't see her today.'

Haley nodded as fresh tears began to fall down her face and as they walked out the door Sawyer began to cry.

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Lucas listened quietly, waiting for them to leave. When he finally heard them move towards the door Lucas momentarily felt a rush of relief but when the last thing he heard before the door slammed was the cries of his beautiful little girl, he hurled the now empty bottle against the wall and started to cried.

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**Hi thanks for reading, what d'you think? Do you want me to carry on with this?****  
I think some people might of wanted me to show every-ones goodbyes but i really just wanted to keep it Lucas centric.  
I don't think the goodbye was sad enough but anyways.**

**Also I'd like to thank othspnluver for inspiring me to FINALLY get started on one of my fics.**

**Please review, I'd really appreciate it and go easy on me please coz this is my first fic.**

**I know i said i'd have the new chapter up by sunday but everything i'm writting is rubbish so it might be a bit longer lol. Also when i update i'm gonna change Lucas's goodbye from this chapter.**


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